Tell him

I sat with a mom of a struggling son. Sighs of exhaustion and tears of grief crept in and out of the conversation. What is the plan? She asked. I love plans, goals, and achievement, but today that was not the answer. Words roamed my head, remaining silent…… the plan….. The plan is to be fascinated by his strengths, grateful for his tenacity, impressed by his resilience and wowed by his spirit and in awe of his story. The plan is to encourage his small steps while loving him large. Everyday, simply dwell on the great. Never ever lose sight.

The words of advice finally came out. “Be careful who you listen to. Don’t worry about what people think. There is no race to finish line. There is no perfect decision or perfect mom. There is no shame in making a mistake. There is time. And maybe try this…..listen to his pain spoken and unspoken in the quiet of the night when all is still and not stirred up.

And when he goes to bed, sit near him and whisper the words you long to say. Share words of love that can enter his restful soul while he isn’t struggling through the day. Tell him you are sorry he hurts. That he doesn’t have to fit in. Forgive those who hurt him. Forgive yourself. Tell him you love him and you will always do your best. Tell him of his gifts. Share your hopes. Encourage his dreams. Tell him you understand. Tell him anything you have on your heart. Tell him he is enough. Pray for him. Do this every night until you know all is well.”

I did this tonight in the quietness of my room, picturing him sleeping, while I spoke to the heavens. Good advice I thought. I wish I had heard it years ago. But today I realize this angel named Beau has taught me well.

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